» Not An Adult’s Only Disease

Not An Adult’s Only Disease

Depression Is Not An “Adults Only” Disease
By Kevin O’Connell

According to Richard O’Connor, PH. D and author of Undergoing Depression, depression begins at an earlier age with each generation. No adolescent, teen, young man or woman is any more immune to the possibility of a serious bout with depression during their lifetime than any of us older folks. There are no demographic restraints to depression. O’Connor also writes that 1 in every 4 humans will have a serious encounter with depression at some point in their life. Research indicates that 20% of our population meets the criteria for some form of depression at any given time. Therefore, 25% (1 in 4) of our population will have a serious encounter with depression, and 20% (1 in 5) already meet some form of criteria consideration for depression.

This isn’t Breaking News, but children from adolescence, to their teens, to becoming young adult men and women have an incredible radar system for detecting stress, anger, anxiety, and yes depression, in their home environment. This sense of the psychological climate between family members, particularly their parents, could turn out to be the biggest contributing factor to their own growth and ability to cope. Remember, stress is a “carry over” from different periods of their lives. In situations where we’d be talking about a single parent household, I would think the radar is often off the charts. The more the children see it and feel it, the more they’ll sense the family being torn apart.

I’m sure that many if not all of us have flown at one time or another. We seldom listen anymore but as the oxygen mask safety guidelines are being given the flight attendant always says, “make sure you secure your mask before attempting to help another”. Whether it’s stress or depression it’s extremely important that parents take care of themselves first, get their masks on and breathing correctly, before their children become too emotionally involved. Don’t take any longer than you have to, but get it straight between the two of you first. If you take too long, or prove to be incapable of getting it together timely, you run the risk of seeing signs from your children that they are feeling the adversity. Alcohol abuse, drug dependency, mood swings, behavioral problems, increasing lack of interest in school and other interests, significant changes in eating habits are all warning signs. Each of these will have an impact on your child’s ability to maintain his or her own self esteem and cope. They cannot and should not be expected to do it without parental support.

So the question becomes “What should we as parents do”? The cop out is usually “They’re too young to understand and we don’t want to worry them.” Get Your Children Together And Talk To Them About What’s Going On! Give Them Some Credit! They’re not stupid. They know something’s wrong. Not only do you want to educate them to the problem, you also want to keep them comfortable and involved in helping to overcome the adversity. Believe it or not, this could turn into one of the best, hands on, life experiences of learning they’ll ever have. Hold a board meeting like corporate America, only the family is the corporation and each family member is a shareholder. Explain that it’s not been the best of years and each shareholder is going to have absorb some of these losses. Some cutbacks have definitely become necessary until the corporation (family unit) gets back on track. Do everything you can to assure them they are not part of the problem but you’re going to need their help to get past it. Outline a plan, always follow a negative with a positive, i.e. “I’ve lost my job but I have some applications in elsewhere.” “It’s going to be tough for awhile but we know that as a family working together we can overcome anything.” Thee are going to be a lot of ups and downs but your mother and I are together in this plan and will do everything we can to protect you.”

I recently came across some statistics that I found incredibly disappointing, especially since I was one of the many in the negative comparisons. I’m basically a charter member of the so called Baby Boomer generation. The percentages of those parents falling into the “Boomer” population that admits to never having spoken to their children about the stress of their financial problems, the anxiety and depression of unemployment, and their fear of failing the family are miserably high. It’s no wonder how young people could also be struggling with this today. Is it time for you to reach out to your family and hold a board meeting??

Thanks everyone for your very valuable responses to my first article. Hopefully they’ll continue to come in and we can all lend a helping hand to each other.

Feel free to comment or ask questions.

admin | March 3, 2010 11:57 AM

5 Comments

By Alex, March 3, 2010 @ 6:13 PM

This is a very good subject! I agree that parents should hold family meetings about ANY subject matter that affects the family. It makes the family feel like everyone has a say plus it keeps the children from worrying.
By Sue, March 4, 2010 @ 2:03 PM

Without getting into the “why” of the situation, our kids are facing more mature situations and issues at younger ages than many of us did. It really is no wonder that they would also then face things like depression at younger ages. Thanks for discussing the issue.
By Tom, March 4, 2010 @ 2:19 PM

I especially liked the advice to talk to your kids. They do know what’s going on, and if they are too young to know, then they just know something isn’t right. And the first thing they will do is blame themselves. I’m sure there are alot of people out there who will not admit they suffer from depression.
By Susan, March 4, 2010 @ 6:16 PM

More and more kids are experiencing depression every day. I think that one of the reasons our is because of all the pressures we put on them. We make them grow up much too quickly. We need to let our kids be kids. They’ll have enough time for the realities of adulthood!
By Stephanie, March 5, 2010 @ 12:16 PM

This is a great article. As an adult looking back on my childhood at the problems and pressures of that time doesn’t even compare, in my opinion, to the things my children will be facing as the get older. This world has changed so much and contnues to change with more and more presure to be the best no matter your age. I think so many kids have a hard time dealing with this and that is why we see depression more commonly in children and teenagers. I as a parent have the responsibility to my children to make sure they know I am proud of them no matter what. They don’t have to be the best at everything.